The Magic, the Medicine, the Misery

Unless you've lived it, you can't really understand the tug-of-war that plays out in the mind of someone caught in addiction.

Once a person becomes addicted to something, they keep finding a way to have it. The confusing part that's hard for others to grasp is that even though the person can see it's damaging them and their relationships, they keep going back to it anyway.

It’s why the world's default explanation for addiction is weakness. A lack of self-control or discipline.

Chances are, that's how you see it too.

And that’s what fuels the back-and-forth you know so well. You know something has to change. You tell yourself it needs to — no, it must stop.

And then it doesn’t. And all the while, your brain says, “This is good. We like this a lot.” 

It's exhausting. For you, and for everyone who loves you. Especially when the cycle repeats itself over and over.

The Three Stages

For many people, alcohol use follows three stages: magic, then medicine, then misery. 

What feels magical at first becomes something you need, like medicine. From there, it's a short slide into misery. 

The more magical it felt early on — especially if you started young — the more in love you may be with the buzz. 

What we love, we desire, and what we desire, we tend to crave.

It's Not a Willpower Problem

It's hard to understand why someone who has overcome so much in life — who has risen to real challenges before — can't seem to beat this one.

The only "beating" that occurs is the one you're giving yourself.

But there's a reason you haven't won this fight yet, and it isn't weakness or a lack of willpower. 

This particular challenge involves a substance that creates a demand for itself, the more you take.

Here's the part most people miss: the very tool you'd normally rely on to fight any other battle — your prefrontal cortex (PFC) — is the first thing alcohol attacks the moment it enters your system (the same is true of cocaine, heroin, kratom and benzos, like Xanax).

The substance doesn't fight fair. Its strategy is to disable your PFC, your brain’s command center and what matters most in your ability to fight back. Judgment, self-control, emotional regulation, willpower — these are the first casualties.

Without them in charge, you’re toast. Literally.

The Fight Can Be Won

But I've seen this fight won — by people who tried for years with no luck, nearly ready to give up. I'm not talking about them learning to manage their addiction. I'm talking about them walking away from it, for good.

No more desire, no more cravings.

To do that, one must understand the nature of what they're up against and how it operates. It's also imperative to understand the thought patterns driving your behavior.

Some of those patterns will need to change — and they absolutely can. There's a lot within your control that can shift the outcome of this fight.

Now Is the Time

Here's the urgency: there's too much at stake to wait. There’s no reason to keep living this way. It can change — and will — once you're truly ready.

Just let me know when, and we'll go to work.

Now's the time.

— Tim

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