You were built for this

I often guide my clients through an exercise that reveals something profound about who they are. I ask them to list the qualities they most admire in their best friends and the people they look up to.

Here's what I've discovered: the qualities you admire in others are the ones you most value in yourself—or long to embody. They're pointing toward who you're meant to become.

When you identify these qualities and make them conscious, something shifts. You begin to pursue and prioritize them. You start living more intentionally—you begin to thrive.

But there's another layer in thriving that goes beyond values. We need to examine our deeper human needs—not the basics like food and shelter, but the needs we must meet to truly flourish.

To flourish you begin doing and experiencing what makes you feel most alive. And that requires pausing to consider: What actually does that for you? What doesn't?

Once you discover what makes your heart sing, you're well on your way. You need to find what excites you, what gets you enthused, what brings you happiness. Then pursue it.

The result? You'll be having fun. And that's something you were absolutely built for.

Ever notice how young creatures play? Squirrels, deer, colts, puppies, kittens—watch any young mammal and you'll see them engaged in joyful play.

There's an enthusiasm for living the young possess, a curiosity and wonder that creates pure happiness in simply being alive.

That quality fades with age. But does it have to?

What if, instead of hiding our sensitivity and emotions, we leaned into them? What if we allowed ourselves to get excited again, let curiosity lead us to ask more questions, and gave enthusiasm permission to guide us toward new experiences?

When we do, problems become challenges. Failure becomes an experiment—"Let's try another way." Learning becomes second nature. We find ourselves having fun more often.

Remember when almost anything you did with someone you liked was fun? When your imagination ran wild and you were actually driving that car you pushed over the dirt pile, or caring for that baby doll like she was your baby?

Here's the truth: "old" isn't about age. It's what happens when people stop playing and having fun. That's when we stop getting what we need. That's when we stop thriving.

When our needs go unmet, we feel incomplete. We search externally for ways to fill the void, often turning to things that don't help us thrive at all.

Again, think back to childhood. You didn't need much to have fun. You knew how, and you lived to play.

You rarely dealt with guilt, dread, regret, fear, or shame. Those came later, when you replaced play with other activities that didn’t fulfill.

But that version of you—the one who enjoyed little things, looked forward to each day, and lived free of the cloud you've come to know so well—can return.

What you were built for—having fun, being alive, experiencing joy—can become what you're about again.

It's never too late to enjoy being alive.

Tim

P.S.   I love walking with people as they return to this state of being. Getting your life back is a glorious thing, even if you didn't realize it was missing.

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