What do you regret?

There are plenty of things in my past I would like to have done differently. Being a little too adventurous, self-centered and impulsive have caused me some problems.

That has meant too often I wish I could redo some things. That’s a lot of my story, even though I’ve made it a rule to not regret things.

I’ve done that mainly because regret feels bad. It sucks to wish you had another crack at it, but don’t. I hate regret. 

“And how’s that going for you?” You may ask. 

Well, not that well.

It sounds great to refuse to regret, but it’s not realistic. In fact, it sounds a little hard-headed, because it is. No one ever makes all the right moves at the right times.

I wish I could change some of my past. Parts have been good, but the fact remains I do regret some of it. Not all of my decisions have been good ones.

Think about this for a moment. Though you can’t change your past, you can change your perspective of it. Your observations and experiences, and the perceptions and conclusions you’ve drawn about them, all contribute to the perspectives you have. 

The thing is, they may not be based on reality at all. 

Here’s what I mean. Recently, I went back to my old elementary school playground and was shocked to see how high the “high-slide” actually is. I remembered it being like forty or fifty feet high. I was quite shocked to see it’s maybe ten feet high, in reality.

Ever try something out and find you suck at it, then conclude you’re terrible at that, then quit? Ever do something new, find that it’s unpleasant, then decide you’ll never do that again? Ever go somewhere, have a bad time and say you’re never going back? Ever have fun doing something you shouldn’t, then do it again?

Welcome to the club. That’s what we do. 

Our perspectives aren’t necessarily grounded in reality, but our view of it. 

The truth is, when you truly want to learn something you’ll stay with it until you figure it out. If your deepest desire is to master a skill you’ll let nothing stop you. Every failure can become a challenge to try again.

Perspective truly changes everything. Mistakes, failures, setbacks and challenges can become motivators that increase learning and tenacity.

The cool thing is, perspective is actually quite fluid—it changes with time. Remember the slide? It wasn’t that high. What about that awful stretch a few years ago and those bad decisions you made? You learned something about yourself, and what’s most important to you.

We get to control the narrative in our own minds. My perspective is up to me. And while that doesn’t change the past, it does change what I gain from it.

Here’s to how we look at things, both past and present.

Tim

Clearly identifying what makes us feel most alive moving forward requires a willingness to look hard at our perspectives and beliefs, and how they got there. In doing so we’ll understand how those can change. Once we do that, the future you desire is sure to come. 

Call me and we’ll discuss how that can happen for you.

Please share.